The Fear of the Flesh

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Fear is a major issue for many. Psychology has a massive list of different types of fears. Many Christians misunderstand fear. They tend to bring in worldly concepts into the church moving away from biblical concepts regarding fear. This is widely due to a strong focus on people instead of God. When you love anything above God, you will not have healthy fear because healthy fear comes from the Spirit. In your flesh you will battle with sin. Anger, hatred, and jealousy directly link to fear. It seems as though Christians are comfortable discussing fear, but they are uncomfortable discussing anger or hatred. They do not believe fear is sin. Fear does not lie; it is an indicator of a wrong focus.

Thus says the LORD: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the LORD. For he shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when good comes, but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land which is not inhabited.
Jeremiah 17:5-6

Unhealthy fear reveals what a person trusts in. According to this Scripture, when you trust in yourself or other people you are cursed. This brings about an unhealthy connection to people. Your reliance on yourself or other people dictate the state of your spirit. If you decide to seek unbiblical help for crippling fear, you will learn all about your fear but will need to manage and set boundaries on your flesh.

Here are some different types of fear that involve other people: fear of rejection, fear of loss, fear of death, fear of confrontation, fear of anger, and fear of abandonment. While this is not an exhaustive list, it helps teach why God does not want us to be afraid. When any of these fears are present, you will tend to make decisions based upon fear.

For example, your parenting or your role as a husband or wife can be ineffective because of one of these fears. But ultimately your obedience to God can be affected by one of these fears. To approach any relationship through unhealthy fear will create brokenness and disconnection. You will obey what you rely on. If you rely on yourself, you will obey yourself. If you rely on your spouse, you will obey your spouse. Jesus brings this to an even deeper realization. He teaches that you will obey who or what you love (see John 14:15).

One of the major responses to fear is not obedience but control. The thought process is “if I can control the situation, everything will be ok.” This brings about micro-managing and constant correction in a relationship. In order for you to be ok, you think your family has to be ok. If they behave in any way that does not line up with your standard, then you step in and try to change that in them. The problem is that does not work. This type of relationship produces anger instead of love. The message is that in order for you to be ok, you have to do what others think you should do.

Any of the fears in the list can drive this type of behavior. For example, if you have a fear of abandonment, they any indicator that someone will leave you spurs you to try to control the situation. This in turn creates a reaction in the other person to want to leave.

From My Spirit is Life and Peace Workbook by Alison Veazey and Kerry Skinner.